Part two: A man and his dog...

A machete slices the air, separating a length of pulpy green tentacle from a very long, very lively vine. Still writhing, the plant is ground underfoot as a man and his dog enter the vast valley that spreads out before them. The individual attached to the machete is cloaked in dirty white and be-goggled, his face further hidden by a mask that covers his nose and mouth. As he continues to swing, another vine falling, he struggles to carry a ridiculously large bag over his shoulder like an apocalyptic Père Noël. The bag, bulging to the point of bursting, looks to be filled with objects consisting of very odd angles.


Herbert West stops just out of reach of the slithering vines, and looks through his dust covered goggles towards the other side of the valley. The span is immense and troublesome, as almost every square foot of it is covered with the angry plants. To make matters worse, there are thickly stalked stems, the vines clustered at their base, tipped with mouths full of shredding teeth.

"We'd best get a move on Jehovah," Herbert said through the mask, a muffled imitation of his voice.

It was Jehovah who first noticed how unnaturally quiet the valley was, even though there was so much movement, so much life. The lack of noise was disconcerting…

To their left, there was a strange creature, one with three legs and no ambition to use them, which was slowly being pulled apart by a plant's lamprey-like mouth. Vines were pulling pieces of the body off in all directions, presumably to be eaten by other plants.

Herbert noticed that Jehovah had run ahead, far enough that he could no longer see the dog, another swing, another severed tentacle, and he was about to yell out his name when he caught sight of him being dragged ass-first towards an eager plant-mouth. Jehovah, his mouth forming a silent O, tried to stop himself by digging his claws into the ground, but they just slid over the loose soil, kicking up a trail of dust.

Herbert stopped, dropped the bag, and removed what looked to be an arm, an arm from something in no way human, but an arm nonetheless. Once he had procured his prize, he threw it in the direction of Jehovah and his dog napper and watched as it loosed its grip on the dog in favor of the weaker meal. Chew on this Audrey, Herbert thought to himself, and give me back my damn dog.

Making his escape, Jehovah ran balls-out in Herbert's direction and hid behind his leg, looking at the carnage beyond them.


Suddenly, the unnatural silence was shattered as thunder shook the skies, the clouds threatening rain, which would bring about an entirely different set of dangers…

Quickly and cautiously, Herbert bent down and scratched behind his dog's ear, or the spot where his ear used to be, and they continued into green hell.

Innumerable kills later, they were able to stop and survey their progress when they came across a rocky outcropping that was vine free. Barely half way across the valley, they were both exhausted and pissed to the gills.

"What the hell were you thinking Herbert?" Jehovah asked, "The most direct route is often the easiest you said."

"Would you like to go back?" Herbert replied, "We could always go back and find a way around the valley."

"The hell you say," Jehovah said: "I'm for you picking my ass up and carrying me the rest of the way!"

"You could always get in the bag with the other parts…" Herbert replied and shot him a smile, one that went unnoticed behind the mask.

Once again, the vines had found them and were starting to snake their way up the rocks. It was agreed that they should move on and attempt to be clear of the valley before nightfall. The weather was holding, and they hoped to find shelter before it broke.

A few close calls later, they were standing at the outer edge of green hell and on the upper rim of the valley. They stood there for a long moment, looking out over what they had endured.

Jehovah gasped, trying to catch his breath, when he turned to see Herbert running back into the tangle of vines.

"What the hell are you…?" Jehovah's question was cut short when he saw Herbert dragging something from the valley.

"I had heard they existed, but I had never seen one!" Herbert exclaimed.

"Heard what existed? Seen what, what the hell is that thing?" Jehovah asked.

"You'll see…you'll see!" Herbert was like an excited child, his enthusiasm evident through the mask and goggles.

Even before he could drag it clear of the hungry plants, the creature started to decompose. As it did so, it released an Aurora Borealis of colors. Unearthly hues that took their breath away…

"How," Jehovah asked, "How is that possible?"

"Well you see Jehovah," Herbert was in his element here, "the gases being emitted by the decomposition of the body combined with the toxins in the air…" Herbert's explanation trailed off as a new round of colors were being released.

What they saw then would change their views on death forever and amidst the chaos of the day, they actually took the time to sit down and watch the creature decompose…

The colors began to fade with the memory, and Herbert heard his name being repeated, "Wesssst...Wesssssssssst."

Herbert West awoke to a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his days, Jehovah was licking his face.

Startled, Herbert tried to crab-crawl backwards, but stopped when he hit a stone wall. "Never do that again!" he said: "I didn't like you doing that when you were still a dog."

"You look like hell." Jehovah said matter-of-factly.

Ignoring him, Herbert looked around, trying to get a bearing on his surroundings.

After a moment he asked, "What happened to the fish-men?"

"Some were killed; others ran off," Jehovah replied, "Something came out of the water that looked like a walking rib-cage. Guess we weren't on the menu."

Off in the distance several water-striders could be seen grazing. The size of Volkswagen Beetles, their spider-like legs skimmed the water, their feeding tubes dredging up food.

"The Deep Ones don't scare easy, and they won't stay gone for long, so we should be off." Herbert said and was already trying to get to his feet, "I saw a suspension bridge up ahead that I want to check out."

"You're the boss." Jehovah replied, his tail wagging.

They walked the waters edge for a considerable distance; then cut across an overgrown park. Wooden spikes dotting the unkempt lawn, several of them adorned with the heads of dead things.


"Across the way, do you see it?" Herbert asked, "There's the suspension bridge I saw earlier. We should be able to find a suitable vehicle there."

"A vehicle for what may I ask?" Jehovah asked.

"We're taking a trip, a trip out west…" and that was all Herbert had to say.

(Edited on Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 1o:54 AM, edited again on Friday, October 9, 2009 at 10:34 PM, final edit on Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 9:44 PM and Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 11:48 AM and Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 3:19 PM)